Don’t Care What Others Think About You

In yesterday’s post – why some people are so irritating – it might have sounded like I’m telling people to “shut up and do nothing if somebody irritates or insults you.” The reason I’m writing again on this is that I personally think that no professional game producer should let other let other people decide how you should act. Whenever somebody counters with anger, he is really giving control to somebody else than yourself.

Besides… and as gentlemen, we know better ways to deal with insults. ;)

So, is being passive a good thing?

When I said “you shouldn’t insult back” I didn’t say “do nothing”. I said that there’s always room for intelligent response. If somebody mocks you, you can listen to what he said and think if there’s something useful for you, and then you can express your own opinion – in a calm manner. If it feels like you are getting angry – then sometimes saying nothing (when you are angry) can be better than saying anything at all.

I’m not suggesting people should just take the insults and do nothing. I’m suggesting that people shouldn’t get into level of insulting. If you have intelligent answer, then feel free to express yourself but when somebody is calling names or doing something like that, it does no good to respond back in same manner.

I don’t know who said it, but I like this guideline: “If you have nothing good to say, then say nothing.”

Now, to the second point. It was said that “if you do nothing, people might think you are a wimp”.

Why should you care what other people think about you?

If you honestly think you’ve acted right, without violating the rights of others, doing any harm to others and said things that you feel are best for all parties – and then other person thinks bad about you – why should you care? If you’ve already done the best you can, and the other is still mean or not cooperative, why should you care if he thinks bad about you?

From what I’ve read in the forums, there’s some people who think I’m giving poor advice and know nothing about game production. Who am I to argue with their thoughts? Everybody has the right to think the way they like. I’ve said it several times that people should use their own brain and question authority. I’m writing this blog because I like telling my thoughts – whether anybody is listening is 100% up to them. I’ve said it that all advice I give here might be totally wrong and information is provided on “as-is” basis – use it with your own risk. Why should I care if somebody thinks I know nothing about game production? I’m not here to *prove* someone what I know or don’t know. I’m here to write my thoughts. I’m not here to defend myself: I’m here to say what I think has been valuable for me and if somebody finds some info useful, then great. Basically I’m letting the results talk – they might be really poor, great or anything between.

Why should I care if somebody thinks I’m a crook? That’s in their mind, and there’s not much I can do about it.

Final words
I would also like to point out that I don’t want to suggest taking an attitude where you think “why should I care about anything”. It’s fine for all of us to care each other, but I think people shouldn’t care too much what others think about you.

Game producers need to deal with other people whether face-to-face, in forums or at phone and if we get upset over every bad word we heard… we are definitely digging a deep hole for ourselves. It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.

Juuso Hietalahti


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  2. Thank you for sharing your thoughs. I have the same problem very often when dealing with some persons. I’ve come to a similar thinking path after a lot of time trying different aproaches to their agressive attitude.

    Now I think back, and realize that if I have read your post prior to any confruntations I might have acted differently and spare myself of a stupid and nonproductive fight.

    Great Blog, by the way!

  3. Nothing is sometimes the right thing to do and always the intelligent thing to say.

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