Rulebook For Poor Organizations

I have been dealing with one of the biggest banks in Finland and doing very ordinary stuff with them. Opening a checking account, getting credit cards and all that normal stuff everybody does. There’s one specific reason why I opened an account with them – they can cash foreign checks – but so far it’s been pain in the (nasty word) to get things rolling.

My theory is that they have rulebooks filled with guidelines I’m about to present here.

I was charged $1 for fees when reality the clerk said there would be no fees. The $1 won’t kill my budget, but in addition to rest of the rules it “annoys” me enough to write about it. Sometimes it’s the principle that matters. I’m pretty sure their rulebook would say something like this:

Rule #1 – Verbal agreements that don’t matter anything
Say that there’s no fees, and then charge fees anyway. When customer asks about this: make sure that they realize the real conditions – not the stuff that was verbally agreed.

I suspect they also have a rule like this:

Rule #2 – Make controversial guidelines
When customer asks what happens, tell something that’s not going to happen.

They said me to visit their office to get the ATM cards, but then for some reason those cards came via mail. It wasn’t a big deal, but enough to make me wonder if I need to activate the cards or something.

I tried to withdraw money with the card (drove 5 miles in vain by the way) and it failed. Machine told me that I cannot use the card. I decided to contact the bank, and encountered some more of their rules.

I’m hundred percent sure the bank have a sign somewhere that says:

Rule #3 – Support calls
When customers call to the support, forward them to somebody else.

I tried asking what’s wrong with our bank cards since we couldn’t withdraw, and they kept forwarding my call to somebody else… until I faced rule #4.

Rule #4 – Don’t answer to the phone
If some customer stays on the line even after being forwarded dozen times, then it’s good not to answer the phone.

Very efficient – eventually when I reached the right number, nobody answered. I decided to email them, but then I encountered rule number five.

Rule #5 – Emails
If customer asks to email somebody, make sure you tell them that the person is available – and then ensure that she in fact stays on holiday.

After I emailed the person, I got a auto-reply that she was on holiday and wouldn’t be back until next week. (The person in the phone told me she would be available).

I guess they really want me to stop withdrawing any money from the ATM.

Juuso Hietalahti