Producer-Human-Producer Dictionary

Sometimes it’s difficult to understand the communication between producers and other people. Luckily, I’ve made a handy guide for people that explains in clear terms what the producers really mean when they are talking to other people.

What producer says What he really means
I’ll do it right away. I’ll forget it as soon as you leave the room.
That’s interesting. Couldn’t care less.
That’s really interesting. I have no clue what you are talking about.
Sorry, I’ve been busy. Your issue is not important.
Sorry, I’ve been really busy You are not important.
Why it takes so much time to code? I don’t trust you.
This can’t take so much time to program. You are an idiot.
This is important. I’m in charge here.
Should be better if we’d handle that issue in some other time Stop interrupting me.
We can bring that issue up in the next meeting, now it’s not the time. Shut up.
We need to get this thing finished asap. We’re screwed.
It’s time for the performance review. I have no clue what you guys have been doing this year.
Very important point, thanks. Shut up.
*Nodding* Shut up so I can talk.
Sorry, can’t talk now, I have a meeting starting in a minute Don’t talk to me.
Yes. No.
No. No.
This is what our project needs. I’m clueless, but in charge.
It’s not a problem, it’s a challenge. I just read a new book about leadership.
That negativity isn’t helping us. I’m the only one allowed to whine.
How would you rate my performance as a leader? Anyone want to get fired?
You guys have done a great job. You guys have done a great job, expecting to see much more in the future.
Tony was a troublemaker, it’s good for the team that we fired him. I hated Tony.
Our project is 90% finished. Only 90% more to go.
We got some great feedback from our testers. Our game sucks and is filled with bugs.

Feel free to add to the dictionary.

13 thoughts on “Producer-Human-Producer Dictionary

  1. Even as a traditional digital (Flash-TV Series) animation producer, these are so relevant. My eyes tearing up laughing at these. I guess a Producer is a Producer is a Producer.

  2. Producer: “We’re all one family here and frown on office politics.”
    Translation: “We will chew you up, and spit you out while stealing every idea you have.”

  3. “I love your creativity!”
    classic!

  4. Producer: “How much effort does that take?”
    Translation: “I cut your feature three weeks ago and forgot to tell you.”

    Producer: “I love your creativity!”
    Translation: “No way in hell are we doing THAT.”

    Producer: “You should go meet with them.”
    Translation: “Not my job.” or “I already did your job for you.”

    Producer: “Your opinion really matters to me.”
    Translation: “Done bitching yet?”

  5. great list! very, very true :)

  6. Tanker – speaking from experience…

  7. How do you know me so well? :-D Great list…

  8. Stereotype much?

  9. They’re all like that. Except usually even more insulting. It’s a sad sad fact. :-(

  10. Sounds like a incompent producer.

  11. It’s fine.

    Translation: I can’t let you guys see my fear.

  12. lol, these are great and very funny. Worst bit is I can see myself in many of them, oh dear.